the physics of this world is not so different than all the others. We have come here to learn with gravity being our most visceral teacher.
The past aggregates... do we ever heal from our wounds completely? Or will all scars fade on the fateful day the story of all these lives comes to a wrapping end?
The wounding reappears in dreams, in nightmares, these unfinished stories. Seeking permanence in a world of transition, and to adapt, we embody a level of apathy we name as acceptance. But do we ever accept anything when the heart still burns a hole in our chest, felt only in the silence of complete solitude?
You push through the psyche of another deep enough, new blood emerges. The delicate tissue of healing flesh rips apart again, and grasping the wound with pain we alleviate our suffering with more isolation.
Superficial outings are bearable because they don't penetrate deep enough to hurt. The irony is in this, that each of us long for this depth of penetration, but with our own protective conditions that it must not hurt, past the threshold of what is considered bearable, comfortable.
Those that seek a level of pain border along the lining of masochism, and each direction of opposing forces leads us back into the center of the maze.
There is an intense indifference I mistook as acceptance for a time. A level of apathy that numbs the catastrophes of a storm. But deep beneath the waters of stillness, peace does not level out the undertow. Dig further more into the subterranean of human consciousness, that which existed before our genesis will have carved itself roots that do not bend at the plight of our debts.
It must be ripped out, with ungodly strength that we alone may not possess. Each nerve ending severed into annihilation. Our humiliation written like sanskrit along our faces. Only then, perhaps after the devastation bears death can we start over...
Looking into the eyes of a stranger and seeing a familiar story there. Ah, we've bit the lip once more.
It's a debt I am paying, not a love making... how many more do I have to go?