clothes come off one by one, by the passing hour,
I lay here in a coma like state, unable to move when the wind does not blow.
I am a child of this wind, I go wherever she goes...
Oh violent light, why does your glow betray me?
why do I find solace is isolation, instead of the embrace of a man?
I find sadness tug away at me during nights like these
where the skin is too hot to touch by another. Where we lay next to one another, distanced by the thick of it. All the insufferable longing, the need and greed. There it past my threshold,
slowly in the dark, I pick it back up
piece by piece.
In truth, I am too exhausted waiting for this exaltation which never arrives. We were promised it as children, but these were fantasies and lies. Mothers that shield us from the truth betray us in the end.
Indeed la, you have made a mockery of us! Godot,
are we to just bear it then? As you spite the most those that try to get nearer to you?
I have been here before, this is familiar territory. And I am not afraid of this aloneness but I am no longer comforted by it either. Because I cannot feel your breath in this silence and even if I did, it wouldn't matter.
What was once love has turned to hatred and I cannot stand to weep any longer in your temple, or grace myself with comfort that one day you might appear. By that time, you can be sure that I have disappeared.